Tuesday, August 30, 2011

No time.

No, I mean I REALLY have no time anymore. For myself especially. So let me try to catch up some, but know that no matter how many things I remember to note, I am forgetting hundreds more things that I am constantly bummed that we'll forget. I started this blog to keep up with our then upcoming adventures in the Middle East and I am ALWAYS so thankful that I did. I even missed things back then, when I blogged on a nearly daily basis for two years. Now that I don't blog but one lame post every couple of months, I just know there are things about Jackson's first year that are going to be forgotten and I hate it.

But, we're freaking busy people. And when I do get a rare second to relax, I want to do it on the couch, in my sweats, a kid or two on my lap, spacing out... not trying to think of something clever to say. :) So lately, we've:

- Gone to CDA to visit the fam and welcomed Justine and Kemer and my sweet nephew Keegan, home from Germany. We had SUCH an awesome time with them. I was so glad we got the chance to have our babies together as babies, especially since we probably won't get the chance to see them near as often as I'd like.

- Experienced the fair. A first for Jackson and a second for Kaden, but the first that he remembered. It was fun, but VERY hot. I am awfully pregnant these days and my hands swelled up so fat I couldn't even make a fist. Then I was having blood pressure issues and it took me a good week to feel "normal" again. (After I just KNEW I was going to go into labor before the week was out... no dice on that one, obviously)

- Celebrated the boys' birthdays. I said I wouldn't do it, but I caved and we had a joint 1st and 4th birthday party for my little rugrats and it was so much fun. Mo and Co. came down from Seattle and we had friends and more family there to help us celebrate their big day. It was great. I found out that both of my boys are serious water babies and we had to talk Kaden out of the pool to do cake and presents and then Jackson stayed in so long that his lips turned blue!

We've tried to get out and about as much as possible while it is "easy" with "only" two kids. :) I laugh at myself because I remember feeling like things were hard to do and plan when we had just a small Kaden, but now we don't even think twice about rounding up the posse and heading out (often forgetting the diaper bag). We even go grocery shopping together these days, so I am wondering if having a third will really be that big of a change for us. I know sleep will certainly be a challenge, but Jackson hasn't slept much in the past year anyway, so maybe adjusting to a newborn won't be as bad this time around (or maybe that's just wishful thinking).

We also got to turn down ANOTHER chance to find out the sex of this baby. I had placenta previa at my 20-week ultrasound, so we did another one at 33 weeks to make sure it had corrected itself (which it did) and it was SO HARD not to just say, "Ok, fine, tell us!" to the tech and just know. I know it is going to be way more motivating during my labor to not know what it is, but it's hard to have the opportunity and not take it! Haha. (I still FEEL like it's another boy though, for those who are wondering. I really cannot even conceptualize the thought of having a girl, so we will see when D-Day arrives... there are plenty of people who are adament that I am wrong, so we will just have to wait and see!)

I am bummed that we don't have more time to do normal family things. I mean, a typical day for me is something like this: get up before the crack of dawn, eat on the run, kiss my kids and say "bye bye" (this is the hands-down sweetest thing Jackson has learned and having him bid me farewell ALMOST makes it easier to leave them every morning) if they are awake yet and rush off to work. I inevitably get there before everyone else because I want to leave before everyone else. I, especially lately, work my ass off all day long (we recently had another person quit unexpectedly... the person who was supposed to be covering my maternity leave, so the stress level has been off the charts of late), eating "lunch" over the course of the day whenever I can squeeze a bite in, at my desk. At 4 I've put in my 8+ hours and I call it a day and drive home, which now that we are on Parkcenter, it's an extra 10-15 minute commute home, depending on traffic, so I get home with about a half-hour until Stu has to leave for night classes. We eat dinner (quickly) as a family, quick-chat about our day, kiss Daddy goodbye and when normal working mothers would finally have the chance to cool down from the day, I start the pre-bedtime process alone, since Daddy is gone. Then I do homework and try to spend as much time with my kids before their bedtime as possible. I clean up from dinner, try to put something together to take for lunch the next day, shower, and get to bed.

Some days I just want to ignore all of my responsibilities and items that are due (not the least of which is myself upcoming, which I am trying to plan for!) and just do nothing. That Bruno Mars song has become my fantasy mantra, which I've noticed they tend to play on the way home from work. Hmmmm. Unfortunately real life just doesn't work like that, so I keep plugging away, knowing that the proverbial "some day," I will finally finish school, and hopefully life can get marginally less complicated.

So now it's back to homework and time to remind Kaden that we do NOT put items on Jackson's chest, even if it IS funny that "he can't get up now". Tomorrow, we start it all again.