Talent... pfffft!

Ok, I am a good cook. I come from a long line of good cooks. Cooking is a passion of mine, and one of my favorite things to do…. So why the *&^% can’t I BAKE??? I am not even kidding. I can perfect a dish I’ve never even tried without following a recipe, just by knowing what ingredients taste good together, and putting my own signature on things. But get me near a cookie or cake and if it doesn’t come out burnt, it will inevitably be too dry or too mushy, or SOMETHING that is just BAD!

Case in freaking point: Yesterday Stu decides he’d like some chocolate chip cookies. Well, since we can’t find anything relating to baking here (baking powder, normal sugar, etc.) we broke down a just bought some packages of the ready-to-bake tubes of cookie dough. You simply preheat the oven, slice them into rounds, put them on the baking sheet (or glass pan for us since we don’t own baking sheets) and put them in the oven for 9-11 minutes. In theory after which time, ta-da, cookies! Well, not when I am responsible for them!

I did all the steps, then after probably 12 minutes (since I always forget they’re in the oven until I actually smell them) I take them out and leave them to cool for that infamous “minute” before removing them to a paper towel. Sigh… here are MY cookies after forgetting them and leaving them for 20 minutes to adhere themselves like cement to the glass pan.

So I ask Stu, “How can I be so good at cooking and suck so bad at such a gay sport as baking?!?!”
He says, watching my elbow-grease-laden effort to de-stick them from the glass, “It’s not a sport… it’s obviously a talent…”

Followed by, “We should have to fly the flag as half-mast for such a travesty…”

I hadn’t laughed so hard in MONTHS! Sighhhh… I’m done with this stupid baking nonsense!

At least they were still edible with a glass of milk!