Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Papa.

Today has been insanely busy. And it began yesterday. At work yesterday I had to stay to host a webinar so I didn't have time to make it home before class. As a result, I ate Wendy's for dinner at my desk and didn't see my kids all day. It was pouring down rain before class so I arrived for my 3-hour stay in soaked work slacks and hair/make-up and then dried just in time to leave in the pouring rain and run to my car in high heels. Eff that. Rain sucks.

Once I got home, I had to rush through showering and get to bed. I saw my kids for 5 minutes before I left for work and then worked all day. Then it got better. :) I got to head to Marcia's after work to have a Mimi-made super yummy meal before I had to leave for class, so I got to see all of my favorites before class, which really broke up the evening well. Tomorrow morning Papa is having an Angioplasty because he has been having chest pain and his old stents in his heart are now 8 years old and probably reaching the end of their usable life. Everyone makes it SEEM routine, but I am scared. I always am when Papa has heart problems. I remember his 5-bypass surgery when I was around 5 years old... we brought him a "get well" bear in the hospital and even at such a young age, I knew how important that man was to me.

When I was in my teens, Papa had his current stents placed, and again I worried that something would go wrong. I didn't think I could survive losing him.

Now, I am only slightly more rational. Papa is, and has always been, the most important man in my life. He is my hero and my idol, just as he was when I was 5. I went toe-to-toe with him over my husband almost two years ago now, and it is something I still haven't gotten over, or come to terms with, which makes tomorrow's surgery even more stressful for me.

Tonight I am glad we all had dinner, and had a great time together. I told Papa I love him, and I am optimistic about tomorrow's surgery. I just want it to be over. So, everyone think positive thoughts early tomorrow morning for him.

I love you Papa... more than my own life.

 Papa at the largest Mosque outside of Mecca (Sheikh Zayed Mosque in Abu Dhabi).

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